Vamo’ Pa’ Culebra (In Review)
June 2022
Culebrita. Day 2.
The scenery was pretty but we had to share the beach with strangers. 2/10 stars.
AFter-lunch entertainment
The entertainment on the boat was just OK. The go-go dancer didn’t even wear a g-string. Zero tips.
AIR FLAMENCO
They virtually made me fly myself to the island! Definitely would not recommend.
IN THE WILD
Met some really chatty tourists on the beach. All they talked about was vegan goats, though? Boring.
deep thoughts
"Eat beach"? This makes no sense. Def do not recommend eating sand.
our CAPTAINS
These two got us such a noisy boat. If only we had been on a fancy yacht designed by an Italian maritime architectural firm, it would have be a much better experience. 2/10 stars.
island kids
The sun was out in the sky all day long and it was hot and we all got sunburns. Do not recommend being outside because of this.
Just another afternoon
I’d like to request my money back. Nothing happened here at all. 1/10 stars.
Good morning
The views were kinda monochrome, just a lot of blue blue blue to look at, but it did make one ponder if water is actually wet, or just the things that water touches?
Sunchill
Pro tip: Fish (or, is that fishes?) do in fact eat grapes.
FLAMENCO BEACH
The captains parked the boat so far away from the beach so we had to walk all the way, inside the water and on wet sandy sand, to get to it. Not luxurious at all. 3/10 stars.
Ergonomics
Trying to take a nap in Culebra is so overrated. The waterbeds have no real back support.
WILDLIFE
There was interesting marine wildlife… except the water kept moving so we couldn’t really see them well. We could’ve seen them much better if the water were still, someone should work on that.
See what I mean?
I rest my case.
Coping mechanisms
The atmosphere was just so loaded with stress and lack of beauty, some of us had no choice but to resort to day-drinking.
OUR TRIP ORGANIZERS
Never trust the reviews you read — we did not have fun at all.
Friendly Sea Turtles
Hey-Hey says: See you next time!